Back to School

My son went back to school a couple of days ago for the first time in 1 ½ years.  It feels strange.  For better, and for worse, I have gotten accustomed to him being at home.  For so long I have been hungry for him to go back for the mental health of us all.  And now that it is finally here, I definitely need a moment to adjust. 

This time during Co-vid has been intense as far as parenting goes.  The amount of behavioral challenges and the magnitude of the explosions in my household have been extreme to say the least.  On the one hand, I am mother to a toddler and it felt mostly great to be present and engaged with her a lot during this past year.  On the other hand, it had gotten to the point where in felt near impossible to have peaceful, fun interactions with my 11-year-old son.  After having virtual school and being on the screen for 8 hours a day on average, he developed what felt like a screen addiction.  He was solely focused on when he could have screen time and sneaking it at every possible moment.  Deception became a new guise this past year.  His interest in doing other things, such as spending time in nature, waned significantly.  Eventually he even began rejecting the other thing he holds dear and his only social outlet during this time, soccer.  His relationship to the screen led to almost daily temper tantrums that were a force of nature. 

Being in the middle of it, I lost perspective that this is not normal.  It is not normal to not be in school, to not have peers, to be pretty much isolated from social interacting for over a year.  He is an incredibly emotionally sensitive being processing the craziness of his personal predicament, while also feeling the tsunami ripple effect of the world’s chaos.  Maintaining patience and continuing to be a conscious parent has been incredibly challenging during this time. 

The impact this experience is having on our children and family units may perhaps ultimately be the most devastating side effect of Co-vid.  Thank goodness for resiliency especially among young people.  Yet even with immense resilience, I can only imagine that many families have seen the worst of one another during these close quarters.  I certainly know that has been true in my family pod.  Once we are further out of it, there is definitely going to be some redefining of what the new norm is because it certainly is not the continual heightened states and emotional reactivity we have been experiencing as the baseline these past 18 months. 

These are strange times, no doubt.  I have reevaluated myself, and my life circumstances, more in this past year than I have in the past 5.  As I am feeling the pull of the winds of change, I am doing what I can, moment to moment, to keep strong roots into the ground.  Centering my perspective on gratitude and focusing on what I do have versus what I do not has been a lifeline.  Through all of it, I am grateful for the health of all of my family members.  Funny thing is, even knowing this, I sometimes still feel resistance to simply allowing myself to feel gratitude.  When shit is crazy all around us, it is always an opportunity to master our responses.  Today my gratitude lies with all of the teachers for taking care of our children and bringing them back to school.  Hallelujah! 

How has the past 1 ½ years impacted your family and children?

When things get tough for you, what pulls you out of the pain and back into your heart?

We can withstand the storms!
Kristen