Midlife “Crisis”
crisis - a time of intense difficulty,
trouble, or danger
Why is it that times of our greatest developmental transformation are often labeled or imbued with such dread and negativity? Terrible twos, puberty, midlife crisis, menopause…
What if a midlife crisis is not a crisis at all, but rather a celebration of an opportunity for a transformative rebirth based on the wisdom of lived experience?
Why is honoring and acknowledging the voices inside of us that want to reconnect with parts of ourselves we left behind during childbearing, career building years to be dismissed as pipe dreams and hormonal?
Why is reigniting our creativity, our sexuality, and our pleasure from a base of deeper connection with our sincerest desires mocked as something we are too old for?
Until yesterday, it hadn’t crossed my mind that the big changes I had been making in this past year of my life could be judged as a midlife crisis. In my experience, I have been feeling this incredible wave of deep clarity, ready to claim what I truly desire. I feel an urgency to shift was has been incongruent in my life choices and realign the trajectory to transport me to a new and chosen destination. Some of my shifts were really scary because I was breaking free from a safety net, both of a long-term relationship, and also from the unconscious, unsustainable ways I had negated my desires and was shrinking myself. There is something potent that happens approaching the end of our childbearing years. I gained a perspective that while my body is still young, healthy, and strong, I am halfway through the life span of my vessel (god willing) and if I died today there were some big changes I had yet to fully make. This perspective, has given me a rocket booster full of fuel to do the hard things.
I have an invitation for you whether you are currently in midlife or conversing with loved ones in this potent stage. Rather than labeling as being in the midst of a midlife crisis, can we embrace this as the transformative life review it is and ride the wave of momentum to create an even better, more influential version of ourselves? This is our time to really bring our greatest gifts forth with fervor and passion. It is the time for us to listen deeply, to nourish ourselves, and to serve humanity with our magnificence.
Next time you see a person leaving their marriage for younger spouse or running off on a wild adventure, rather than judge the perceived lack of integrity (though that may be a part of what is at play), give credit and celebration for being courageous enough to take action and attempt to bring more joy back into the short life we all have.
Can you honor this right of passage as the empowering transition that it is? We now have decades of life experience under our belts, a highly developed intellectual capacity to analyze and refine, the emotional awareness to know the effects of a life lived without passion, joy, and love. We know what would truly make us happy and how to make choices from a place of sincerity rather than what we think we’re supposed to do. We also know how to lay down our youthful pride and ask for support when needed. Middle age can be a time bursting with passion, curiosity, and creativity!
Will you choose to expand into this powerful state of possibility or collapse into the dying version that has been painted for us?
Dare to Desire!
Kristen