Belonging: (dis)Connection from Nature & the Village
There is a deep sadness that resides within the hearts of individuals from westernized cultures. Anxiety, depression, and a baseline sentiment of unworthiness have permeated the populace. What often goes unacknowledged is the profound grief from a lack of belonging to a people and a place. We have a perceived loss of connection to the Earth. We no longer have reverence for nature, the teacher of our humanity. Without a conscious connection to nature and a village of people to welcome us and celebrate our gifts, we are left lost and longing.
Miriam-Webster dictionary defines belonging as a close or intimate relationship. There is something about this concise definition that does not quite satisfy the meaning of belonging as I sense it in my heart. Belonging, the longing to be, has a quality of yearning fulfilled. It emanates a sense of completeness that comes from knowing beyond a doubt one’s place in the world. It is an unshakeable confidence that we are exactly where we are meant to be and with whom, and that we are equipped with magnificent gifts that are an equal and worthy contribution to the planetary community. Belonging includes people. It also includes all sentient beings, plants, minerals, ancestors, and angels. Belonging is a faith that each one of us is a thread in an awe-inspiring weaving of seen and unseen realms that is timeless and helical in nature.
I find it interesting that the definition of belonging I gave is the second definition. The primary definition is possession. Symbolically, our culture’s relationship to possessing, owning something, is a significant contributing factor in the lack of belonging many people now feel. The western, individualistic prerogative puts the individual’s need as top priority with little regard or sense of responsibility for the impact this has on others and the environment. There appears to be a lack of awareness that we share a reciprocity with this living earth, as we nurture and honor it/them, they nurture and honor us.
Many people living in westernized cultures are lost. We do not have a clear sense of place, purpose, or lineage. In the United States, anxiety and depression are at a record high. Approximately 40 million adults are affected by anxiety every year* and 21 million adults experienced at least one major episode of depression in 2020**. There is a calamitous environmental crisis occurring on the planet that has already eliminated a variety of species and threatens many more with each day that passes. As a global community we have hit rock bottom.
There is an overwhelming need to reconnect with reverence for the Earth. To value this connection, we must first understand exactly what was lost. Francis Weller spoke of this loss so eloquently in his book, The Wild Edge of Sorrow. He referred to how animals shaped us, teaching us essential principles of being human. For eons, humans had reverence for the animal kingdom and the elements. There was a clear understanding that human relationship with the Earth and all its life forms was irrevocably interconnected. Our intimate conversation with other life forms now ceases to exist for many. In a few generations, this silencing has left behind an emptiness that cannot be satiated.
Weller spoke of the disconnection from nature through the lens of grief. It is a grief that deeply impacts our emotional, spiritual, and physical lives. If we remember our intimate bond with all life forms, we all can heal. The anxiety, loneliness, and depression that are rooted in not belonging are transformed into a confident wisdom that each one of us fully belongs to one another and we are never alone.
Weller also spoke of our expectation, by simply being born, is to be welcomed into a community that tends to the sacred and nurtures our relationship with the natural world. In our culture, this welcoming no longer occurs. There is a gaping hole left in our hearts where the unmet need of belonging to a village resides. Sentiments of unworthiness are a common complaint among many. Some are aware that the sorrow they feel is correlated with being lost, of not belonging anywhere, to anyone. Technology has enabled us to move anywhere in the world and connect in a myriad of ways through email, social media, and phone calls. However, this way of relating is a far cry from the unquestionable knowing of the village. In this construct, we were recognized for who we were. Intimacy was built upon a strong foundation of authenticity.
I have been aware of this insatiable grief in my own heart since I was a little girl. A central theme of my life thus far has been to re-create my village, to find the place where all of me is acknowledged and I belong. I have spent my life searching, moving back and forth across the land, only to find myself farther from the village than ever. We are provided a false sense of intimacy through the ease of technological connection that quickly becomes transparent when we slow down. The village honored one another simply for being themselves. They knew each being bestowed precious gifts and their job was to remind one another of their essence when the hardships of life appeared on their doorstep. Acknowledgment and expression of this grief, together in a group, is a salve for beginning to heal the wound in our hearts.
Where Do We Go from Here?
Weller articulately named griefs that most of us feel, but many cannot identify. In fact, the sadness has often been misdiagnosed. People are treated with medications that can never mend the vast psychic hole in the hearts of the masses. He not only gave language to differing facets of grief, but he also offered hope by sharing ways to acknowledge and express our grief in the presence of others. I wonder, how do we as a larger community, in the era we are now in, create a version of community that remembers reverence for nature and one another? Weller shared experiences of villages still intact today, however is the best way to attempt a return to what was? I believe our evolution is helical in nature. If this is the case, swinging the pendulum back to the other side is not necessarily the answer.
There is a deep longing in the hearts of many of us in westernized cultures. A yearning rooted in the desire to belong to this planet and to one another. The multitude of environmental crises, skyrocketing rates of depression and anxiety, and an insatiable loneliness are all symptoms of our disenfranchised grief. The transgressions rooted in individualistic mindset have caused suffering of catastrophic proportions, both externally in the lack of reverence for all life forms on this planet, and internally as a grief so profound, a splintering of our selves happened, leaving us disconnected from our hearts. Our souls yearn for the village. We yearn to feel connected to all that is. We have forgotten that we belong, together, every one of us. “Our suffering is mutually entangled, the one with the other, as is our healing” (Weller, p. 52). If only we had the courage to remember, the tears of our collective grief just might water the Earth and restore her to a state of vibrancy. Then, at last, we could exhale out all the shame and fear that we do not belong and know that every single one of us matters.
Dare to Desire-
Kristen
References
* Anxiety and Depression Association of America. (n.d.). Did you know?
https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/facts-statistics
** National Institute of Mental Health. (n.d.). Prevalence of major depressive episode among
adults. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/major-depression
Weller, F. (2015). The wild edge of sorrow: Rituals of renewal and the sacred work of
grief. North Atlantic Books.
(This post is an excerpt from an academic paper I wrote with the same title.)